What is spirituality anyway? Is it religion? Is it rituals or practices? Is it simply a sense of something larger than the self?
The word spirituality is pretty vague. It could mean so many different things...and if that's the case, how, as a psychotherapist, can we bring it into practice? How would we apply something so intangible and imprecise to spiritual questions?
The Oxford Dictionary defines spirituality as "the quality of being connected to religion or the human spirit", which is just as vague.
Religions will express spirituality as connectedness to their perception of the Divine through specific practices and rituals. Some religions are much more structured than others. Wicca has many rituals that are said to conjure mystic qualities of the Divine and also create a closer relationship with Universal energies. Yet, it is not a very structured religion with specific practices everyone assigns to. Catholicism is a highly structured religion that has particular practices and rituals that all members practice in order, again, to create a relationship with their perception of the Divine.
When addressing spiritual questioning in psychotherapy, if a client has a specific religion they are assigned to, it allows us to become familiar with their religion and then bring these specific beliefs into sessions to address worries, conflicts, uncertainties, and more.
An Example of Working With a Christian Client
Here is an example of a Christian client that I worked with. I will call her Janet. Janet struggled with falling short of Jesus's example of forgiveness and she found anger to be unacceptable leading her to to deep religious questions. She believed that her anger at others meant that she was being intolerant and unforgiving. Janet wanted to be able to forgive and forget quickly.
I recalled a story in the Bible about Jesus in the Temple, which I relayed to her. I said,
"I'm thinking about a story in the Bible about Jesus going into the Temple and seeing all of the people selling things there. Jesus believed this was blasphemous to God to sell things there. Jesus was pissed and got totally enraged, he started running around flipping tables and yelling at everyone to get out of his Father's House...do you remember this story?" She had forgotten it but recalled when I told her.
Next, I said,
"so, Jesus Christ was the son of God, totally enlightened, totally pure, and Divine, right? However, even he got pissed off and completely lost his cool. If Jesus can get angry and rageful, why can't you? Why are you holding yourself to a standard that even surpasses Jesus Christ?"
Janet resonated with this story...she got it. This session initiated the process of creating more realistic expectations for herself as a human being. It also began to allow acceptance of her experience of anger.
____________________________
Yet, so many people we meet consider themselves *agnostic or, simply said, spiritual. What about them? They don't assign to a religion so there are no structured beliefs or practices to draw from. Now what do we do?
*Someone who thinks there is some higher power but does not assign to what that may be
When I am working with someone who is agnostic I still bring spirituality and spiritual education into sessions. I first explore their experiences with religion or spiritual practices to discern if there has been religious trauma or deep religious questioning. I ask them more about their beliefs in a Higher Energy (or whatever term they prefer) and if it has any influence over their lives. I will ask them about fears of death and experiences with grief, which are fundamentally spiritual questions.
Their answers to these questions provide a framework to build from. I may not bring spirituality up within every session, however, when their concerns become existential or have no tangible resolution, I will draw upon their perception of spirituality and if creating a clearer picture of their beliefs could help equip them with guidance.
An Example Working with an Agnostic
One such client, I'll call him Emmet, did not have a firm belief in the spiritual. He had experienced the loss of his mother a year ago, which had been devastating. At that time he was also experiencing fear of death himself and the fear of others dying.
Using spiritual education, I suggested issues around death and grief are fundamentally spiritual. Without any sense of what is next for us after our existence here on earth, death brings an intense sense of doom, it can lead to depression and questioning life's purpose.
Together we explored Emmet's previous experience with religion, how others' beliefs impacted him, and how not having any firm belief system was affecting him on a more daily basis. He replied,
"this fear of death is always interrupting my life, at any moment I just start thinking about it and then start worrying that my wife is going to die. I just pick up my phone and start texting her. She gets frustrated because she's a work. She's getting tired of this".
This opened a discussion about his obsessive thoughts, the origin of thought itself, and whether our thoughts are always true. I suggested,
"if thoughts are so frequently not true, then where do they come from? How do our thoughts affect us? If I am not my thoughts...then who am I?"
At this point, we were on our way to exploring the Divine. Connecting spiritual questioning with something that was impacting Emmet significantly on a daily basis drove home how a spiritual endeavor could benefit him.
____________________________
This is also an opportunity to draw on the mystical.
Mystical practices include energy healing, reiki, mediumship, intuitive guidance, and more. I do not offer hands-on therapies in my practice, however, I do offer mediumship and intuitive guidance along with energy balancing.
Mystical practices can begin building clarity for individuals who are uncertain about their spiritual outlook. When clients begin engaging in energy, experiencing the clarity it can provide, and how they can manipulate their personal energy systems, this brings realms beyond the physical into a more tangible form. From this, doors can open to build a belief system supported by their personal experiences.
If you are a psychotherapist who does not use mystical practices, we can refer our clients to providers such as reiki masters, trusted mediums, energy healers, and so on.
____________________________
I hope this has helped bring clarity to spirituality and religion along with the simple methods to address spiritual questioning within psychotherapy practice. I use these methods and many more in my psychotherapy private practice.
Continue to visit my blog for more insights, examples from my practice, and personal stories about my spiritual journey.
Sarah Dionne is has a private practice in psychotherapy in Halifax, Massachusetts. Her specialties are spiritual questioning and guidance, treating bipolar disorder, OCD and women's issues. Sarah has also applied to Interfaith Seminary, which she hopes to begin in the next few months. Learn more about Sarah's practice.
If you are interested in receiving supervision or professional guidance from Sarah, Email her.
Sarah is currently hiring an LCSW and a case manager, find our more below.
Comments